In just 10 days, it will be my birthday. My 37th birthday. I’m not ashamed to say it. I am actually proud of it and looking forward to my 40th. I don’t know what it is about “40” but I want to be a member of the group. I think there’s just something about 40 that truly says “you’re grown”. Well there’s no doubt that I am grown. My kids remind me of that everyday. And with my birthday approaching I think it’s the perfect time for anyone to reflect on their life and evaluate it to measure if they are in the same place they were a year ago or made any kind of progress.
For me, I have made tremendous progress. For one, I published a book this year and officially became an author, which was always just a seed of a dream in the back of my mind. I found a job teaching, started a talk show (that I am not sure I will continue) and discovered Camicakes! Ok, ok that’s not an accomplishment! But you guys know how much I love those cupcakes. But there are many things I got accomplished like made some home improvements that I wanted, took a vacation to Orlando with my hubby and the kids and more.
But as I started to evaluate these things I started to realize that there was NO social time included in that. NOTHING WHATSOEVER. Am I a work-a-holic? What the heck do I do for fun? What is my life? My answer was clear. My life is Kaelani, Kaitlin, Milan, Mikaela and Jo-Jo. But even more, the last four kids are the ones consuming every little bit of my time.
I started to realize that I plan nothing for myself or my husband that is not work related. Yet, Mikaela goes to Cheerleading five times a week. She’s on TWO teams, the regular team and the competition team and cheers for games EVERY Saturday. Kaitlin and Mikaela are on the track team for their school once a week. Both girls also are in a jazz class AND take a Musical theater class at Dance Academy West. And then there’s the weekly Girl Scouts Meeting they have to attend. I of course am the chauffeur driving them around whizzing from one place to another across town to get them where they need to be. In between it all, when they come home for school we spend a good two hours working on homework and reading and improving their academic skills. After cooking, it’s bedtime and the day is done and I do it all over again the next day.
Do I get to go out and party like many of my friends do? Nope. I never do. I have to say my partying days are truly over. And you know what, as I reflect and look back over my life, I don’t mind one darn bit! This is my new life and it’s a life that I truly love and adore. How many people don’t spend a minute with their kids and their kids end up on crack or acting crazy out there like they never had parents? Look at Montana Fishburn. Did she receive any attention from her famous daddy? Why was porn an option for her?
I know people who still RUN THE STREETS and DO NOT take the time to ACT like a parent. Once you become a parent you take on a job that you shouldn’t quit and you shouldn’t cut corners. Should I take time out for me? Hell yes I should. But I will never sacrifice giving my kids an excellent life. I LIVE to expose them to everything that I possibly can and raise well-rounded and morally upright kids who care about their family and community and who are talented and smart. The only thing I regret is that my oldest daughter moved with her dad in January and he doesn’t spend time with her and he doesn’t even spend time with his wife and other child. He is always gone and on the go and everything else is more important than family. So she misses the “parent time”. I never want to be THAT person. That is not what God wants for any of us. Life is about family. My husband works hard and 30 minutes after he gets off work he is HOME. He doesn’t run the streets or hit the bars. WE are committed to our kids AND each other. It is very fulfilling to watch my children grow. I attend school functions. Do homework with them. Even if it means taking some time away from work. Children grow fast, and soon they will be on their own. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn’t attend the play they were in. Being a GREAT parent is what is most important to me. Not running around and trying to go to the latest party.
So, to answer the question do I even have a life? Hell YES I DO. Cheerleading, Track, Jazz, Musical Theater, Girl Scouts… I would say I am pretty darn busy with my little bees!