I don’t know about you, but I love social media. It has its good and bad points and it certainly is the gateway to drama-filled updates. But what I love most is the interaction I have with my Facebook friends. I really do love posting funny, inspiring and sometime controversial posts and I love hearing back from my faithful friends who comment like Barbara Burns, Kim Weathersby, Renee Rochester, Nesheda Williams-Shockley. Or love when Karla Trotman or Michelle Bond make me really laugh out loud with their funny on point posts. There are really way too many Facebook friends I LOVE and I wanted to give a shout out to a few because I really do love y’all.
But then there are the lurkers who you find out really aren’t here for you and your antics and frankly can’t stand you at all with your happy go lucky, I love my life posts!
I found that out yesterday after I posted and threw shade at those ridiculous people who post selfies every single day. You know. The ones who actually post a full face picture of themselves every darn day as if their profile pic is just not enough for you to see. The ones who post the same, tired pictures without offering up any new content along with it like a new hairdo or maybe they thrifted an outfit we need to know about or maybe they bought a new house we need to see. No. They just post a selfie because frankly they probably don’t have a life and a selfie is all they can offer us since their life sucks otherwise. (Kiddin here) Even though that’s not always the case, someone thought they’d come for me and get mad on their page that I was posting about how people shouldn’t just post selfies. Hit dogs do holler and apparently this dog felt hit and in fact this person does always post selfies as if we need to see inside her dirty bathroom as if it intrigues us or something.
Here’s what I posted:
A very light post where you can obviously see where I’m joking.
The person decided to go in about my post. Here’s the thing: There are levels to this and I realize that I totally am on a different level than this person and decided to unfriend her because obviously this person doesn’t care for me and if you don’t care for me, then we don’t need to pretend to be friends. Sad thing is when you have known a person for a very long time there tends to be some kind of loyalty attached to it. But nah. I have realized when you reach a certain professional level and do better than folks you have known for years, sometimes there is jealousy attached to it.
Even more, this is what gets me: the person alleged something about people having a fake life. So was this person alleging that I couldn’t possibly be as happy as I am? That’s sad. Obviously this person has dealt with such turmoil in her life that she can’t possibly believe someone like me can climb out of the same ghetto she’s STILL in, and rise to the occasion of greatness and be happily married to a man who is so wonderful to me and our kids. Wow. Sad. I feel for this person. Well what exactly could I be lying about in my life? Let’s examine my “fake” life:
- I have two degrees – Hmm… I can’t be lying about having a bachelor’s and Master’s degree because you can verify that with Norfolk State and Cheyney University. Soooo I can’t be lying about that!
- I have five great kids – Umm… no lie there. Check the birth certificates and check their straight A’s on their report card. (They are pretty smart.)
- I travel and take several vacations every year – Well you can search the blog for my vacation pics. Taking vacations require money so I can’t be lying about having money and taking vacations. Yep I took my whole family on a cruise this year to the Bahamas and it wasn’t free. Paid for that cash. And we are going to Universal Studios for Christmas, staying on site (which is a LOT of money) and I paid for that too. Hmm… where do I get all this money to vacation? I probably get it from working. And my husband works too (clutch the pearls. A black man works?). Wow. I guess you can’t believe he actually wants to vacation with his wife and kids. Wow. A rarity, huh?
- My husband is an Engineer – Makes a lot of money (Who knew black men worked!) OMG! Must be a lie.
- My husband loves me – Call the Guinness Book of World Records to record that a black man loves his family AND a black man and a black woman are happily together living happily ever after. And wait, they’ve been together for 14 years!!! OMG! A world record! So am I lying about that too boo?
- We OWN a beautiful single family home AND we are building another one right now! OMG there is no way a black person can OWN a house AND be building another one at the same time! Kia you are a DAMN LIAR GIRL!!!! Your life is a LIE!!!!!
I can go on and on. But you get the picture. There are no lies here bish.
The lie comes in the fact that someone has LIED to this person and led her to believe that she can’t have the life she has always dreamed about. That she can’t have a healthy relationship with a black man and that she can’t live out her life with purpose and become the woman she desires to be. If she is concerned with my life and my petty post about selfies (especially since I’m a blogger and it’s part of what I do to create interesting conversations), then she can’t be happy with her SELF!
If posting a selfie defines who she is then she needs to dig deeper and work on her SELF by perhaps going back to school, earning a degree and enhancing her own life so she can find more meaning in her life that doesn’t hinge on what I post on my page. Elevation requires change. And if you have friends who are co-signing your sadness then you need to not only elevate your state of mind, but you need to change your friends and gravitate toward people who inspire you to do better and BE better.
I am not interested in being so-called friends who people who don’t get me. If you are a true friend then you’ll find the fun or you’ll check me about the post in a friendly way. Shout out to Lori McMillian and LaTia Reed who totally didn’t pay me any mind and POSTED A SELFIE ON MY POST TALKING ABOUT SELFIES! Those are the kind of people who get me! I am not the selfie police! They didn’t go on their page to talk about me. They confronted me and found the FUN in what I said! And frankly proved that they will do what the hell they want! That’s what I expect people to do! Learn from it. Perhaps evaluate if you do post selfies too much because there IS an audience of people who want to see MORE from you than just your face or a booty shot, and then you move forward.
So to the person who got offended: I have way too many GOOD things going on in my life to entertain ghetto-minded people. Maybe you can’t advance your life because nobody can tell you a damn thing so you stay stuck. You don’t need a seat at the table of my greatness. I worked hard to build this table and there are no seats reserved for bitter bitches. If you can’t find the fun and funny or a lesson in what I post, then scroll, past, unfriend me or indulge in an opportunity to learn and become a thought-leader. But the truth is, I ain’t for everybody and I’m so OK with that.
Do you, but don’t come for me.
Being comfortable with yourself is the first step towards social media. I post my life as it happens, which is why everything is so darn ridiculous.
People like to feel as though they can connect to you as a real person. Taking 100s of selfies, using filters and posting only a better version of yourself is contrived. But it also is an indicator that you feel; the need to enhance yourself in order to live up to a standard which you have placed others.
When you get to the point of trying to perfect your life for social media, it’s time to walk away and pick up a book…or another degree.
Amen Karla. And that’s why I love your posts. They are authentic and oh so funny because they are.
Too funny but oh so true !!!!